Interesting Facts Part 1

Catgut comes from sheep, not cats… And it’s use is illegal in some states

If u put a t-bone steak in a bowl of Coke syrup, it will desolve in 2-3 days

KGB stands for, Komit Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti… So now u can sleep at night

The “Party ‘PARTY’ Day” happens when the day in the month = the month number, (for exsample Oct. is 10, so the party day is on the 10th).

The word Taxi is spelled the same in English, German, French, Swedish and Potugues

Commeticut and Rhode Island never radified the 18th amenment… (Prohibition)

Back in 1924 a monkey was convicted of the crime for smoking a cigarette and was sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and court fees… This happened in South Bend.

The penalty for masterbating in Indonesia os decapitation.

Adult NW American Grizzly bears can bite through 1 half inch of Steele

It takes 142.18 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. I still like the owls solution of 3

Lee Harvey Oswald’s toe tag was auctioned off for $6.60.

There r more insects in 1 square mile of rural area than humans on this
planet… Who rules what?

RT @qikipedia The Official State Animal of Connecticut is the sperm whale.

RT @qikipedia The Official State vegetable of Oklahoma is the watermelon

RT @HowStuffWorks 55% of people will yawn w/in 5 min. of seeing someone
yawn. You may have yawned from seeing this tweet: http://is.gd/20zEK

Bloody brilliant… Frakin donut! http://twitpic.com/cu20j

Any respectable chef would not want to b on Hell’s Kitchen… Robert frakin
lost his marbles!!

i will never forget watching the sunrise in the eyes of my wife when she
smiled at me for the first time. I became her tulip, blooming bright

Yet again, my shins can find a coffee table within 50 feet in a pitch black
environment. My freet, a rusty nail from 4 miles away… Talent

Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever b put on the head of a Pez
Dispenser… Now that is a LIE… I have Mike Tyson, Elvis and MJordan

Karaoke means “empty orchistra” in Japanese

1 gallon of motor oil can contaminate 1 million gallons of fresh water

From the age of 30, humans slowly begin to shrink

The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money

Xenophobia is the fear of strangers

Forensic scientists can determan a person’s gender, race and age just by
examining a single strand of hair

The chow is the only dog that has a black tongue

Head lice prefere to live on clean heads instead of a dirty ones… Really?
How did that interview go? Ridiculous

Anteaters prefer to eat termites instead of ants… Yet another interview
worth seeing

Apples are actually part of the rose family
Master Nic waiting for the cheese steak hoagie!!! http://twitpic.com/cir2a

Currently @ Multnomah Falls and there isn’t any wifi… Lame… Stardate: Today,
@ 1:30 Isn’t my bb cute! http://twitpic.com/cgpca

55% of all movies are rated R

RT @qikipedia Penguins can shoot their poo 15 inches from their nests… and
speaking of penguin bodily-functions: http://tinyurl.com/qi0096

90% of women who walk into a department store immeadietly turn to the right

Bill Gate’s house was designed using an Apple computer. Mac users unite!

Giraffes and humans have the same amount of vertebrae in their neck

Polar bears can eat 50 lbs of meat in one sitting… That just sounds funny

Central Park in New York City is nearly twice as large as the entire country
of Monaco

Aluminum used to be more valuable than gold

In Texas it is illigal to put graffiti on someone else’s cow

They say the most common time 4 a bank robbery is friday between 9 &11am.
The least is Wednesday between 3 & 6pm

Alexander Graham Bell’s wife & mother were both deaf

A Rino’s horn is made up of compacted hair

There r 92 known cases of nuclear bombs lost at sea

51% of turns are right turns… Unless you are a tourist… Then it jumps to 74%

4000 people r injured by tea pots every year… So much for sophisicatiin and
class

The wiskers on a catfish are called barbells

The first word spoken by an ape in the movie ‘Planet of the Apes’ is,
“Smile”

Their is a law firm in Jamaica called, ‘Lawless & Linch’

When u sneeze, all ur bodily functions stop. Even ur heart

A Penny dropped from the top of a sky scraper won’t kill someone, however it
can seriously injure them… Especially if they r looking up

The human brain stops growing @ age 1

Ingrown toenails are hereditary

Cows poop 16 times a day

Do you talk to your car? Studies show that women do it more than men. U see!
We aren’t that crazy!

In ancient China, people ate a pound of salt if they wanted to commit
suiside

91% of us lie regularly… Yeah,… and I am a secret spy… for… The.. Spanish
Inquisition Revival Movement… Yeah, that’s the ticket

Children lauph about 400 times a day. Adults lauph on average 15 times a day

The first couple to b shown in bed together on prime time TV is Fred an
Wilma Flinstone

Warner Chapple Music owns the rights to the song “Happy Birthday” & makes
over a million $ a year in royalties when it is played on PB’s

The US eastern seaboard consumes more than 50% of all icecream sandwiches

In it’s ancient form the carrot was purple, not orange

Aaaahhhh, the good ol’ days http://twitpic.com/bzws8

Every ten minutes another plant or animale life form becomes extinct

Most hamsters blink one eye at a time

if you unfolded your brain, it would cover an ironing board

The first product that Sony ever made was a rice cooker

On average, half of all false teeth have some sort of radioactivity… Doesn’t
everything, really?

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes…WUT!?! I don’t want to know any more

Vegetarians fart more, but they smell less… I really did not want to know
that

Disney’s 101 Dalmations and Peter Pan are the only 2 movies that have both
the charactor’s parents present and that do not die in the movie

Worcestershire sauce is basically just an anchovy ketchup… Now I find it
even more gross than before

The official name of India is not India, it is Bharat

During the chariot scene in Ben Hur u can see a small red car in the
distance

The birth of ‘No Fear’ and the soon to be realized, ‘can’t swim’
http://twitpic.com/bryhm

A woman’s sense of smell is more accute during ovulation

A queen bee uses her stinger only to sting another queen bee

Grandpa’s stories were never boring http://twitpic.com/bryot

In 1977 a 13 year old kid found a tooth growing out of his foot

A regular garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in it’s head… So does
that mean butterflies do 2?

There r more bacteria in your mouth than there r people in the world… Than
brush ur dam teeth!

More bullets were fired in Starship Troopers than in any other movie ever
made

Their r on average 259 raisins in a box of Raisin Bran. 388 in the ‘Premium’
box… Solution… Invest in toilet paper, mortuaries…

…or crematoriums. Everybody poops & everybody dies. This is an unavoidable
fact! Nothing can touch these 2 truths. Not even the economy

… Unless the ‘3 Seashells’ are developed and ‘Soilent Green’ is introduced…
Movie geeks unite!

…was I getting to a point with all that?

… Ah yes, Raisins… um, I like grapes better.

The Royal Tea… Tastes like a peach slamdance! Woooh!
http://twitpic.com/bj7bs

Chillin with the wife at the lake side bar down the street, with some crab
cakes on the way http://twitpic.com/bj7hk

An old guy walked up to the bar and said, “My hairs off and I’m keeping up
my wieght. Just call me sex machine.” I almost pee’d from laphing

The first registered domain name was Symbolics.com

The phrase, “The Boogey Man will get you” comes from an actual culture. The
Boogey People. They were and still r pirates in Indonisia.

Many people think that the clock in the house of parlament is called “Big
Ben”. That nickname is actually for the bell inside not the clock

45.2% of people pee in the shower… Ahhhhhh, hard science research to b proud
of

Oswego Lake House! Very nice in the summer. Drinks r not watered down! Kinda
busy too!!! http://twtimg.appspot.com/8KA

Each year in the U.S. There r around 300,000 deaths that can b attributed to
obesity

A tomato is not just a fruit, it is also a berry, just like the cucumber,
squash and melon

There have been 47 Charley Chan movies, played over time by 6 acters, all of
which who were not Chinese

The reason that wine bottles are tinted is becouse if direct sunlight hits
the wine it will go spoil quickly

In almost every species of mammel, the female lives longer than the male.

Arnold Schonberg suffered from triskaidecaphobia which is the fear of the #
13. he died 13 minutes before midnight on Friday the 13th

Weatherman Willard Scott was the fist ever Ronald McDonald

22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next hour

Carnivorous animales will not eat another animale that has been struck by
lightning

Bert and Ernie from ‘The Sesame Street’ were named after Bert the cop and
Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s, “It’s a Wonderful Life”

In the Spanish Pyranees culture, if a bee keeper dies, each of his bees is
dabbed with a drop of black ink… I want that job!!!

The most dangerous animale in the world is the common house fly. They hang
around rotting things and poo, hence, disease carriers

– Posted From My iPhone

One From the Family

When it comes to being related to someone; having them be famous or infamous can be either lifechanging in a good way or a serious burdon… Maybe even put extream amounts of expectaion and undo pressure to be someone whome u are not… Having the same name never helps.

Having these things in your life can temper your morality and even your sanity. “Should I do what they say I should do?” “Am I really capable?” “Why can’t I just do what I feel like doing?” “Why do I have to try to be someone I never knew?” “How come I am the only one that gets this treatment?”

I wonder sometimes if the accomplishments by one in the past can cross over a family line, not nessisarily by direct blood, but by haretity… And what are the chances that the same trade and imaginary-vision is apart of that? I also wonder if they thought similarly to how I think, had other interests like I have now. Did they have the same exciting secrets kept from everyone else? Could I really and truely be so similar to them?

A comic said that, “Your life can be pre-defined by your family tree. Is there fruit growing in it? Or is there a noose hanging from it.”

A philosopher said that, “Choice and perseption are almost everything we evolve from. Instinct is one of the motivators.”

My grandfather told me, “Defining who you are comes from what you feel in your gut, when your spirit speaks to you and illuminates your heart and mind. Everything else is just indigestion.”

I say, “Just becouse something comes naturally, doesn’t mean you have to do it. I rather try to do everything else just as good.”

That being said, what I can do gives me great pleasure and excitment. It also pisses me off when I hear the phrase, “Told you so.”

Addiction. iGotz it

I can’t just begin a list of addicted things that I orbit around, since it would just take a page of obvious chemicals, objects, siduatuons and sounds. Yes, sounds, and most importantly, my wife. What I will reveal is how I obsess over perposfully indulging in these addictions to satisfy my inflated psykee… Just by touching on one day in my life… I start off on a normal day at 4:30am not having a pention for any particular thing and then for no other reason than self deprevity, I skip a meal I should b having to wake me up and get my body nurishment…instead I play with my iPhone. I wait a few hours from walking to a bus stop, ride through a transfer, wait, then end up at work… Still playing with my iPhone. After getting set up at work I down a half cup of sugarwater with some coffee. I then wait a few more hours to partake of a red bull/ bagel or a sandwich. By this time my body is shuddering for candy… Now begins the mother addiction #1… lemon drops. One by one for hours, I go slowly through the whole box till it’s almost time to clock out. After I pack my crap up, it’s back to playing with my phone… Are u seeing a pattern yet? Until I get home my addiction rate shifts. I walk into the house go to my room and see the Santa-Maria of all addiction… My wife. When I kiss her it is like heroin, she smells of flowers and my world becomes a moon that orbits around her… Well the rest from this point is all about her until I leave her presence to go to the bathroom or vegitate in bed, then it’s to the phone… But that stops quickly when the romance begins… Ok that is one day… Each day is a different adventure and experience if u want it to b. U have one life, be smart and have some fun!

– Posted From My iPhone

Human Food (not really canabalism)

ok… This will be short. Human milk, cheese and butter…

Yeah. From a human. I can’t believe that this is done… well I kinda can, but I really never thought anyone would actually do it. It’s like that story you heard in 4th grade about the kid who liked to eat dog crap. You never thought it was true until that dreaded day your theories were destroyed.

Anyway, in my eyes, consuming anything that comes from a human being is just another road to wrongness… with a side of gross. Butter?!!! Holy crap… BOOB BUTTER!!! for heaven sake.

Favoret Propaganda

This by far is my most favoret propaganda image. Norman Rockwell’s interpritation of Rosie the Riviter, as a feminine powerhouse that symbolized the women’s place in the World War II U.S. workforce on the May 29, 1943 cover of The Saturday Evening Post.

Since I am and have been an artist most my life. I particularly have always been drawn to propaganda imagery. Not only because of the political implications that drive the artists’ vision/idea themselves but the sometimes hidden subliminal messages or blunt sugestive implications the viewer most times does not realize immeadietly, blah blah blah art history crap blah blah…

In this particular oil painting, Rosie is sitting on a guetter post on her lunch break, infront of a muted U.S. Flag, a riveting gun on her lap, an all American bologna sandwich in her hand and a radded copy of Mein Kampf as a foot rest …(if you don’t know what this book is… You need more history classes). Mr. Rockwell’s version of Rosie is posed as an obvouse “homage” to Michelangelo’s frescoe of the prophet Isaiah from the ceiling Sistine Chapel. (being an art student sometimes pays off with discripters. Most of the time it is just unused information.)

Now I am not going to go over all the smaller details N.R. has imbedded into this piece, the sugestivness and implacatory symbols riddled through it. You can look up that on-line yourself. What I will summerize is this, though truthfully this imagery ( as a whole) did not become mainstraem until the 80’s with it’s wide media popularity, it holds a very important grasp on the female perseption in our country and the views it inspires with them.

…and in my opinion, the Westinghouse company couldn’t even begin to touch the iconic female “brute-grace” that Rockwell captured.

…Tesla Out…

– Posted From My iPhone

My kingdom not for a cat

True natural born hunters. They are vicious relentless patiant killers with a pention for morbidity.

Yes, they can be cute, cuddly and behond affectionet. Purring, meowing and playfully batting at a dangling string…. This is a cover folks. In all my years of life minus about a decade. I have lived with cats. For 3 of the 30+ years I also had a dog. They are fun but are really needy and stinky if u don’t bath them often. And to a 10 year old, that is not high priority.

Cats are really almost self maintaining granted you don’t get stuck with a retarded one. I have had 10 in my life and only 2 were morons. They clean themselves, they find food when u forget that they need to eat, they even rub insesantly up against you to get affection even when u are not giving it.

Don’t be fooled by the cute videos on youtube, the lolcats trend, or the adorablness of their youth kitty life.

They rip the shit out of your furniture if u don’t have them declawed, they spray all over your house when thay are in heat, and to top off the fun, they leave prizes and gifts for you. No, not like a dog, but granted I have had a few that do that as well. No, these gifts are fun for the whole family. Remember at the begining when I said they are hunters? Yeah, these little fur ball preditors kill almost everything smaller than another cat ( there is an exception to this too) they bring in their kills as trophies and display them for you on porpose I swear. I will give u an exsample of just 1 month at my house. 3 cats, 5 kids (we only have cats becouse the kids wanted them by the way dispite my warnings) 26 mice, 4 rats, 13 birds, 7 squirals, 5 moles, and a frickin rabbit! Yeah, a cute bunny rabbit ripped to shreds! Left the fucker right at the end of my daughter’s bed!

The fun shit is when they bring live catches into the house so they can play with them. The birds are the best. Feathers end up absolutly everywhere and they most times rip the head off. AND WE CAN NEVER FIND IT! What the hell do they do with it? Eat it?!

And what’s worst is, the kids still want them! They would have disapeared long ago if it weren’t for the kids. The movie Sleepwalkers flashes to mind. But it seems like I am living Pet Cematary. Kinda.

People don’t be fooled. They will eat you if you die if they can’t get out of the house. Why do u think they don’t have any expressions? They just don’t give a shit. Yeah, they will purr and cuddle and rub up agaist you, even let you dress them up. But when push comes to shove, they will rip your face off.

Buy a fish.

– Posted From My iPhone

The Ethics of martial arts

I grew up in a… Wait let me start that over again… I got beat up, then I learned how to beat people up when I was a kid; up to when I was an adult… Yeah, that sounds right…

I didn’t grow up learning the secret fighting arts from some old wise man that lived alone in some zen-Tao-Buda shed in the back of some forien/American restaurant.

I had many teachers/senseis/sempis/masters/instructors/friends/whatever else they call themselves these days in many different places that taught me almost eveything you can learn on how to “hurt” another person. Or beat the shit out of a bag of sawdust.

Most of them taught and subscribed to respect and honor. When I realized what it meant to show honor and respect to my fellow human being, I began to realize that the “majority” of what I was learning was the exsact opposite of honor that I was suppsedly being taught. Really, how do u show respect and honor by smashing someones face in really effectivly? Really? Even if u are being attacked. A finger to an eye, a knee to the groin, yadda yadda,.. Fine… Not 3 pulls, a head butt, 4 systematic strikes and a finishing blow.

Regretably this came to light in my mind when I was competing and realized that if I had not pulled my strike at the last second becouse I wasn’t really paying attention, I could have possibly killed my opponent. All of it had become second nature.

So, I guess I now subscribe to 1 view of violence. Just don’t get hit. That’s it.

It is entertaining actually to watch someone try their hardest to hurt you and fail over and over becouse all u r doing is dodging, blocking and moving out of the way… Even better, when u are just smiling the whole time. They eventually give up… Eventully. I wouldn’t last long anyway since I don’t train anymore and spend most my time behind a desk.

A couple quotes come to mind,

“The art of fighting without fighting” -Bruce Lee

“So, when punch comes. You not be there.” – Mr. Miaggi

“When it’s time to get hurt, let them hurt themselves” – Jo Fuin

So… I guess bending like a reed in the wind and moving like you are surrounded by bees is good advice when in a fight. And if you get beat up, atleast it was entertaining to watch…

An image of Cris Farly just popped into my mind.

To sum up this sporatic mess; the only ethical thing a “fighter” should teach you is how to not get into a fight in the first place. Self defence is another subject entirely.

“Everything else is just the LOTRM” – Lui Mourbauker

– Posted From My iPhone

The bus ride

On any normal day the alarm would go off at 4:30 and I would wall to get to the bus stop by 5:20am. Now on and normal day the bus would arive 5 minutes after.
Let me repeat that… On any normal day.
The facts are these. The snooze button, the inability to get my shoes on, forgetting my computer, the bus arriving very early before I get there, usually while I am walking down the cross street and see it pass by, or I forget to set my alarm the night before. Did I mention when the bus arrives early? Or how about when the bus in an hour late, those days are interesting.

So on an abnormal day this is what happenes. Everything foes as clockwork. I get up, get ready, walk to the bus stop, get on the bus, get to the transit center, catch my transfer bus, get to my work and realize it is a holiday and the office is closed.

Shit… Did I keep my transfere ticket?

– Posted From My iPhone

An unexpected interview (part 3)

There was a few loud snaps and then a cluster of louder cracks…. Silence for a second and then a low and sudden rummble sounding like hale. Then the loud scream from very angry mother, “Donny!” three boys then clumsily darted accross the lawn out the back gate.

The middle aged man lauphed hard along with a few others in the croud of people sitting down at what appeared to be a very nicely set up garden party / yard sale.

The conversation continued like this,

Oh my goodness! That is horrable.

Oh don’t worry, they didn’t harm anything. They were just small fire crackers… I do find it interesting how they were able to get all the acorns out of the tree though with so few…

Oh,… No I meant about your uncle.

Oh, sorry. I am easily distracted. Anyway, I really can’t say why there are so many of us who find inventing so enthrwaling. What is even more bizzar is that most of us don’t want anyone to know who we are. Only a couple of us wanted to become famious.

Forgive me but that is kind of hard to believe. You have so much to offer, why would you not want to be atleast a little wealthy so you don’t have to worry about money?

Oh, that. Believe me, we are not in short supply of contributing to the community. I personally only invent things that benifit living and efficiantcy… I try not to dabble in the latest greatest ground breaking stuff. As for money, we have enough to live comphertably within our means. When I was young, I was stupid and made alot if money and payed the consiquences too. Most of us learn that lesson. It’s like clockwork. Once one of us makes something gigantic and mind blowing, it takes about a week before they shun ever having the idea in the first place. U would be surprised how much the government will be willing to use u and drain u of every happy bone in your body just to get something that doesn’t exsist yet.

Would you mind anouther question? I just find this so amazing…

Sure.

If you could show me an invention of yours right now, what would be the best of them?

Hmmm… Good question… I can show you but you have to promis to keep it a secret… ( half serious look)

Ofcourse! We so promise! We won’t tel a soul! Do we need to sign a paper or something?

Honey!? Please forgive her, she tends to be a bit dramatic.

(lauphter) wow you really want to know bad… ( a pleasing smile. No you don’t need to sign any paper. I was just being a little dramatic myself. One sec…

Jasper?!

Yes? ( a small boy walks over with a clown nose on) Hi. ( the boy bashfully waves at the couple and hugs te middle aged man)

Jasper, I would like you to meet John and Madilyn. They are here looking at houses and might become one of our nabors.

Cooool! Do you guys liketo play board games?

Sure. We love them!

Great. Maybe we can play some time. Dad can I go watch the squirels? Mom saidthat they might bite me, but I will be carefull I promis.

I’ll tell you what, if you take grandmas whistle with you you will be just fine. If one starts lookin at you funny like it wants your nuts, just blow the whistle really load. They don’t like that. But please don’t blow the whistle unless you have to. I don’t want grandpa punching everybody in the face that is sitting near grandma.

Ok! Love u!

Luv u munchkin. ( the boy runs off to an old woman and starts to hug and talk with her). So, what do you think?

What?

My invention.

Huh?

Honey. It was his son. His son.

You made a robot?!

( huge lauphter insues)

Maddy!

Please. ( still giggling) that is quite alright. No, he is real. He is my most precious. He is my life. There is no invention greater and more special than my little boy. Becouse he is a miricle.

I think I’m going to cry.

Maddy… Hey wait a second. How did you know we were looking at houses?

Oh, that? That was easy. We are selling all the houses on this block that we just had built. You guys were the 17th couple that came to visit.

I knew it! You are rich.

Na, it was a favor from a land developer and his wife. I refused to get payed in cash for an invention I sold them so they decided to buy all this land and houses for us.

What in earth could you have invented to warrent that?!

That regretably is a secret. What I can tell you however is that they are happy again.

Would u guys like some lemonaid?

The end

An unexpected interview (part 1)

It was a summer garden sale party at a rental house. A small family was moving and a realistate agent and 2 prospective buyers were at the house next door and noticed the elegant party in the backyard and decided to go visit to see if they could find anything they might like to buy. As they walked up to the garage they saw a middle aged man frantically searching through shelves of small appliences and electronis. They had to go through the garage to get to the party, so the sign said. Now saying this was a garage would be quite an undertatement. It looked more like a well organized warehouse. Here is how the conversation whent between the 4 people…

Hello? Do we go through this door to get to the garden party?
Oh yes. I apologize, I must have closed it on my way out. Here let me get that for you.
Holy crap! Are you selling all these things in the sale?

(short laugh) Oh no, that would take forever to move to the back yard. We are mostly selling furnicher and way nicer appliences than what you can see in here.

The three people just stood in awe as the man was holding the door for them.

Can I help you with anything? You guys seem a bit taken aback.
Well there is just so much stuff. It also seems that some of it has been taken apart. Do you fix things?

Yeah, some times. Right now I am looking for my last esspresso milk steamer. They don’t make them anymore but they steam the milk perfectly. It is either in here or still next door at Miss Camble’s. Here son just baught here some really good coffee last week and she wanted to try to make a latte with it.

I’m sorry, but I believe my wife was trying to ask you what your profession was. You do have an extreamly large collection of, well everything.

( a bigger laugh) um, i guess u could say i’m a handyman and when I have the time, an inventor.

Really?!

Yeah. Please forgive me, the party is just down the hall to the right and out the back screen door on the left. I really need to get that milk steamer.

The man slowly closed the door as the 3 just staired at him go back to searching the shelf he was last at. They mermered to themselves just out of ear shot and noticed the man comming back with a small bulbous metal steamer.

Did you invent anything in here?

Honey!

( a short laugh) that’s quite alright. No miss. Not in here. Most of this stuff is just for parts, the rest is for, well, things that are needed every once and awhile. Excuse me, I really have to got get this to my brother. He is convinced that if he steams milk with un carbonated Dr. Pepper he can get my aunt to drink it and start dancing the polka. If you ask me, he’s a little nuts.

( the wife broke out in a loud laugh and caught herself)
The middle aged man then went through the door and eventually the 3 others followed…

-end of part 1

– Posted From My iPhone